Drunk & Depressed, pt. II
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Author:  HempStar [ 08 Mar 2016 05:41 ]
Post subject:  Drunk & Depressed, pt. II

Hey there!

Yeah, been years since I last came here with the intent of pouring down my thoughts into one of these entries. It should be noted, though, that this is the only place where I have done this; never have I kept a Journal of any other kind, and felt the sudden need to write down some of this, so, well, here goes.

So, what's up? Well, last six years have been something of a game-changer, really. Met my wife six years ago, that is, and well, that started to somewhat turn the ship around from what I called being drunk and depressed, back in the day. Which is good, me thinks. Sure, it has somewhat quelled the need for writing - still a hobby of mine, mind you - which, I suppose, got most of its creativity from feeling down and bad. So yeah, the story writing hasn't gone anywhere as of late, but I guess I don't mind. Everything has its own time and place, and so did that; now there's too much real-life shit going on to be able to immerse myself in fantasy and sci-fi texts, ha. Managed to land myself a job, too, though of that I'll be telling you later, dear Journal o' mine.

Well, to be honest with you, the change started a while back before meeting my wife, with some friends starting to drag me out of my suicide -cubicle where I managed to shut myself in. That didn't rid me of all the alcohol though, as we mostly spent time drinking even then, but at least I got out once in a while. The same friends introduced me to the queer world of psychedelics, which I enjoyed more than enough; these days I'm inclined to think twice before taking a trip, for I'm thinking active use of them for two years "might have" done something to my kidneys. Doesn't feel right when taking shrooms, that is, as I feel the constant need to take a leak, ha. And from what I've heard that should be the first sign of overburdening your kidneys, so there's that. Oh, and a close friend did what people thought was an urban legend; jumped right off his balcony. Well, drove his car some 30 km after that, jumped off a bridge after crashing the said car, breaking his spine - one should take note that he was sitting in my rocking chair some three weeks after the said ordeal. The man must be immortal or something. No way I would survive two ~9 meter falls without permanent damage LIKE HE DID.

Well, from the shrooms I went into having more or less normal social life - is funny how psychedelics can change you, and not always for the worst! - which was not too long before I met my wife, and living happily ever after. I can't quite explain it, but it does feel like happily ever after, guys. We haven't had a single fight in the span of these 6 years, and we have been living together under the same roof since day one. Yep, I kid you not. Since day one! And, well, it just happened because I happened to have the worst hangover of my life then. She just let me sleep it off at her place (yeah, we met at a bar, ha) and I just... stayed. Stuck around. Like a goddamn disease. But she doesn't seem to be complaining, so I won't either.

Anyway, yeah. Slowly started to get a grip on what they call life. Haven't been working all this time, though, mind you; mostly I've been trying different educations. Yep, I *almost* have papers of a IT support and a restaurant chef... of these choices, me thinks I'm going to complete the chef shit (because well, I love food and actually have made a passion out of it for myself; the spicier the better, mind you) in due time, but not before the job goes to the shitter. The job? Well, it's the good ol' industrial truck driver and warehouseguy -shit. Nothing too complicated, which I don't mind; people say that your job should be challenging, but f- that, I'm going to find my challenges elsewhere. What else? Well, got myself into this circle of psychedelic trance -hippies, who are, well, pretty much awesome people... and luckily enough not hippies in the traditional meaning of the word. As such, I've been spared of all the "save the rain forests / seas / land" -shit that is usually attached to the word "hippie". Lucky me!

Not like it has been all peace, bliss and prosperity though. There have been ups and downs along the road, I admit. The wife is bipolar, though the worst times she had with the disease were back in the day when we met and some six months after that; so there's that. And there was a miscarriage. But well, shit happens and life goes on, and it's best you do not dwell on the bad stuff that happens, yeah? At least that's what I've heard. Might be I'm wrong. Who knows?

Anyhoo, might be I'll be coming back and write down my thoughts as they come down. Only time will tell.

Oh and song of this day being :

Author:  Kay [ 09 Mar 2016 16:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: Drunk & Depressed, pt. II

Good to hear the good, sad to hear the bad mate. I've seen your stuff flash up on FB occasionally but don't really understand much of it.

Good to hear things have improved overall!

Author:  HempStar [ 07 Jan 2017 08:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: Drunk & Depressed, pt. II

Hello again!

So, we're done with year 2016 and into 2017 we go. In retrospective, 2016 wasn't that bad of a year on a personal level; worked, most of it at least, and saved money. This year we - as in my wife and I - shall be leaving for a vacation somewhere in the warmer parts of this planet; as I write this entry, we're experiencing some -20 degrees Celsius temperatures here in the northern wastes. Nice. Very nice. Not really though, if you ask me, as this chill starts to creep into your very bones. Also good thing about 2016 is that I've lost some of excess weight in terms of social life; some more volatile and unpredictable personalities have been shed from my social connections, which can only be a good thing, ha!

So yeah, what's new? Well, I've decided to get myself a couple of hobbies. The old hobby being a local theatre; we're doing this play called "the Cripple of Inishmaan" if anyone of you knows it. A dark comedy, that, but seems like a good project. In case I've forgotten to mention it in any way, I've done this acting thing in a local hobbyist theatre for a couple of times now. This'll likely be the last time I'm doing it though, as I joined just to get to do it with one member of my family at least (three who've acted in a theatre besides myself, ha) once. Yeah, there are worse hobbies out there, I admit, but this isn't quite my thing; time to search for something new, I think.

Also, I have a confession to make; I relapsed, and I relapsed bad. Lo' and behold, for I have returned into the World... of Warcraft! It's a completely different game than it used to be back in the day when I started out, so that's kind of kewl. Sure, it's a lot easier in some ways but they've done some good work to put in the challenges as well (read: mythic difficulty level into just about anything) and PvP would always be there but... you know, I don't do much else besides PvE these days, just don't have enough time. Need to keep the relationship up as well, ha. And, well, just do other things than just play a goddamn computer game, I suppose.

What else, what else? Oh, and I've started to slowly but surely gather myself a collection of CDs. During my stints as a storage worker I've realized how good of a tool into just about anything music can be; lifting your spirits and getting yourself even motivated, at times. So yeah. Song of the Day will be a song from one of the CDs. Listen to it. I hope you'll like it, I know for damn sure that I do! Also, take care you all and hold your heads up high ey!

Author:  Kay [ 09 Jan 2017 15:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: Drunk & Depressed, pt. II

You're playing wow again and this is the fist I hear of it? d00d.

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