Talk about stuff, and if you must, about Xenimus
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PostPosted: 24 Mar 2005 00:12 
So I'll start my Journal off right!


I took a goofy looking picture that turned out half decent. I also would like to proudly say,YES, I made that necklace =)

Ahh...today has been slow. I started to design that page that Mikey asked me to build. So far, it's just a bunch of DIV and tables... I'm going to get started on some funky flash animation a little later.

Kevin has entertained me quite a bit today. Thanks for that Kev, it's awesome to know that you can STILL make me fall off my chair laughing. (Ask him how to make money, he'll teach you!)

It was raining like crazy today. I made it into the mall with all of my money intact in my wallet. Yes, that's right. I went WINDOW shopping omg. But when I came out, I felt bad for not holding some green. I went to Uprok (the local record shoppe) and bought me three new records. Breakbeats are getting so hard to find here in SLC. I think I might start playing drum n bass more often.

When I came home today, I sat around and pondered for a minute about the website. I ended up deleting the whole thing and attempted to start over. EGH.

Tee hee. I brought my brother lunch while he was at work. What a nice surprise. I made some yummy speghetti with meatballs and sauteed some mushrooms to throw into the sauce. My secret ingredient? Red wine in the sauce. It makes it taste a little sweet. He likes it that way. We also went to go pick out a ring for his girlfri...eh...fiancee. Smile Hooray! It's freaking gorgeous. I hope she likes it.

And now.... eh.
I'll go think of something productive to do.

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PostPosted: 24 Mar 2005 02:52 
=( I hate when i can't sleep.

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PostPosted: 25 Mar 2005 13:39 
Why the f- dont people leave a message when they get my answering machine...three times in a row??? It really bugs me when people call my cell and don't leave a message, especially when I don't have their number programmed into the database yet. It's like, "Okay, I have three calls from the same number, but no f- message."

Nothing pisses me off more than that.
Last night I was buying new records and tracking them at Uprok, when my phone rings. It's too loud to lanswer, so I just let it ring, thinking they're going to leave a message (stupid me, huh?). I wait a little longer, and head off to play a set (Uprok has a little setup where you can play a whole set) and then the phone rings again, TWICE. Wtf?


I couldn't go to bed last night, cause I kept thinking they would call back. I'm not the kind of person to call back and say "Oh hey, did anyone contact me from this number?" cause that's f- faggy. No one is gonna know who called unless it was a mobile number etc.etc.etc.

Anyway, I need to go finish getting dressed. I'm in for a big day of Sushi and record shopping..


Adam Freeland is coming in April!!! I'm so excited!

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PostPosted: 26 Mar 2005 02:44 
I bought THE sickest track today.
Freestylers made a John B Remix track. One side was the breakbeat mix, and the other was the DnB mix.. SCORE! It's so hard to find a record with good sides. I usually have records that are great one siders. This one breaks the line.

Speaking of great songs, I was stuck on this one all night. We drove all over town listening to our Graduation CD from forever ago. We had the deck on randomization and this song happened to play.

Brand New - Soco Amaretto Lime

Passed out on the overpass
Sunday best and broken glass
Broken down from the bikes and bars
Suspended like spirits over speeding cars
You and me were kings over the parkway tonight
And tonight will go on forever while we
Walk around this town like we own the streets
And stay awake through summer like we own the heat

Everybody wake up
(Wake up)
It's time to get down.
(Everybody, everybody wake up, it's time to get down)
And when I pass the bottle back to Pete
on the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever
(Cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever
(Sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party
'Cause we keep them going constantly
(This offer stands forever)
And we'll never have to listen
(New haircut)
To anyone about anything
(New bracelet)
'Cause it's all been done and it's all been said
We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
(Wait forever)

The hell out of this town
And find some conversation
The low fuel lights been on for days
It doesn't mean anything
I've got another 500
'nother 500 miles
Before we shut this engine down
We shut it down

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever
(Cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever
(Sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party
'Cause we keep them going constantly
(This offer stands forever)
And we'll never have to listen
(New haircut)
To anyone about anything
(New bracelet)
'Cause it's all been done and it's all been said
We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
(Wait forever)

(You're just jealous cause we're young and in love)
Eighteen forever
(Your stomachs filled up but you're starved for conversation)
So we can stay like this forever
(You're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)
And we'll never miss a party
(And your tearin up your photos 'cause you wanna forget... it's over)
'Cause we keep them going constantly

(You're just jealous cause we're young and in love)
And we'll never have to listen
(Your stomachs filled up but you're starved for conversation)
To anyone about anything
'Cause it's all been done
(You're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)
And it's all been said
(And your tearin' up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over)

(You're just jealous cause we're young and in love)
Eighteen forever
(Your stomachs filled up but you're starved for conversation)
So we can stay like this forever
(You're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)
And we'll never miss a party
(And your tearin up your photos 'cause you wanna forget... it's over)
'Cause we keep them going constantly

Just jealous cause we're young and in love

I freaking love this song. I wish I knew what else was on that CD, we didn't have time to go through it all at once.

Anyway, for some more interesting reading...
I think that I'm getting sick of my life. It sucks waking up and knowing exactly what I'm going to be doing from start to finish. I hate knowing that my life is on a schedule...you know, the kind where you say "its four o clock, time for a snack." I miss being random. I've realized that growing up does that to you though. I hate growing up.

More thoughts later.

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PostPosted: 27 Mar 2005 04:42 
I got to play a one hour set tonight at the "Circle Lounge," and it was so good. The only part that sucked was...
I threw down my FAVORITE track, and towards the end of the record, it started to SKIP! Totally threw me off, and needless to say, I couldn't mix in the next record very cleanly. When I took the track off, I noticed a freaking one inch scratch on it. WTF? Either I've been careless with this track, or someone was playing it and didn't take the needle off the right way. I'm guessing that it might have happened when I was putting it into the sleeve, and it missed. Sad Oh well, another one bites the dust...

I went digging through memory lane today and found a pair of dance warm ups from my Dance Company 1st year. HAHAHA they fit me, still! Although they are faded and a little worn, i think I'll wear em around the house as pajama pants.

I also went bowling today. I went with my best friend and her "date." This kid f- pisses me off...let me tell you why...

I was driving the WRX (STi) down state street and was on the phone at the same time, talking to my dad. I was having a REALLY bad day, when I realize that there is a guy on my left side, matching speeds then slowing down. I tell my dad I'll "call you back," which I didn't, and roll down my window. He's all "Heeey sexy, how're you?" and all I could think was "omfg, this guy's cocky." So I smile and drive off. He follows us into the mall, and starts to flirt. I just ignore him, and, being the scumbag he was, he started to hit on Lisa. He goes with us to the Starbucks, and offers to pay for our drinks. What does he pull out? A wad of cash, LOADS of it. There are a few $100's on the top, and the rest was just $50's and $20's. Not only does he pull out his wad of cash, he puts it on the counter.
*shakes head*

Let me feed you some of the SHIT he fed us.
1) He's 16 (he claims he turned 16 a few weeks ago)
2) His name is Aries (like the astrological sign)
3) I know his brother, Dimitrius (I have no idea who the hell this is!)
4) He drives a 2002 Ford Mustang
5) He lives on his own
7) He says he's a virgin...in ALL forms.

Alright, so maybe I'm over reacting...but then, when he unbuttons his letterman's jacket, I see a whole tattoo on his left pec, not to mention his chest full of hair (that amounts to the hair on a 18+ man's chest).
I call bullshit.

He asks for my number, and for hers.

He calls, f- with her head, and get this, asks her to meet him somewhere. Her being the dumbass, goes.

He stood her up. Calls and says " I got pulled over and my car is impounded."

1) Possesion of an Illegal substance.
2) Wreckless Driving
3) Having several or more tickets or violations.

Well, with the cash in his pocket, he's probably a drug dealer. I doubt he would have gotten pulled over more than twice if he just got his license, and I don't know if I believe wreckless driving... either way, he would have gone to jail until someone made his bail. Usually, a parent or legal gaurdian will do that...

Anyway, she gives him another chance, and he comes bowling with me, Nick, and Lisa...

He asks if we want to play pool. Nick just shrugs and says "I suck bro, but Sarah here is a shark."
We go to rent the cueball to play, and he goes "No, let me pay" when I reach for my wallet. He does, and when the lady asks for ID, he hesitates... then says "Can I give you my keys instead?" ...interesting, no?
We go and play pool, and he tried to hustle me. What did I do? I hustled the f- right back. We play for little bills, $10's, $20's...then I throw down $100 and take it all. He's PISSED...

We play bowling ,and he has the NERVE to say to Nick "how old are you?" Nick answers honestly. 25.
"woah man, i thought you were 19."
Then he asks "How old are you, Aries?" and he shoots back "16."
Nick says "No shit man."
If you look at this kid,f-, watever, he looks like he's 21+, has FAT, not CHUB, where its not supposed to be at 16. He has a goatee and chest hair,a tattoo, HAIR ON HIS LOWER BACK...it doesnt ADD UP. 16? no. 26? Maybe.

Anyway, she kisses him. And He's nibbling on her ear and stuff, making out with her. I'm watching, thinking.. "what happened to the good boy? what happened to never kissing a girl before?"

Needless to say, me and Nick walked out and drove home.

Obviously this bitch has something to hide.
I'm going to find out what it is.

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PostPosted: 27 Mar 2005 21:23 
Nick made this for me, so they could use it as my flyer for my next summer event.


What do you think?

I like the way my eyes turned out. We're also adding more to it, like a set of decks and maybe a picture of me playing recs. It's gonna look great.

Its rainy outside...Sad I hate when it gets rainy, cause I want to go play in it, dance in it, whatever. Just get outta the house.

alrighty... since this is my journal, I should write interesting stuff in it.
Here it goes.

Did You Know that...

...I fell off a waterfall at age 5?
...I hate dark chocolate candy bars
...I've lived in Salt Lake City, Utah almost forever, but I've never gone skiing before
...I once broke into a restaurant and stole 3 cases of beer with my friends
...I'm double jointed in all my fingers and the bones in my arms and hands are hyper-flexed
...the thing I'm most scared of is spiders
...It usually takes me 5 times to remember where someone lives, if i'm lucky
...I've gone cow tipping before, and stepped in a big wad of cow shit
...After the movie "Where the Heart Is" came out my friends and I decided to hide in the tent section of Wal-Mart until they closed and then came out after-hours, but someone founds us and called our parents
...while I was playing seesaw on a piece of rotting wood, a 4 inch piece of wood went up my thigh, my mom pulled it out with pliers and till this day, this has been my biggest scar
...I love dancing in my underwear while getting ready in the morning
...I pierced my own belly button, tongue, and labret
...I once was dared to strip naked and ride a broom down the street screaming "the British are coming! The British are coming!"...needless to say, I did it.
...I love anything with peaches in it
...I hate it when people leave their car keys in the ignition and leave the door ajar and it makes that really annoying ¡§ding ding ding ding¡ sound
...at age 9, I jumped off the roof of my house onto the trampoline, did 3 flips and skidded across the backyard pavement, I looked like the phantom of the opera with blood all over my face, but I ended up with not one broken bone or scar, in fact I didn't even have to get stitches
...I've been to a Real haunted house.
...i love 80s music
...I love food that comes in little packages like airplane food or hospital food.

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PostPosted: 27 Mar 2005 21:26 
There are letters in my head. They travel down passageways, and neurological roads to my throat and collect as words. They continue to my mouth, gather on my tongue, and idly form sentences. My cheeks are full of phrases, unorganized ideas; and if I part my lips they escape as nonsense, to which you say, "Shh! You don't even know what you're talking about ". I retreat back to my silence, and rack my brain over what should have been said, and replay those conversations over again. This time I'm ready. This time I'm prepared. But these witty retaliations are not real, and as I sit there in thought you're already off again, telling me some story (you have so many). I hear you laugh. I've apparently missed some crucial part of what you were saying, and I fake a giggle. You can tell that I'm somewhere else tonight, and apologize. You're always so quick to say you're sorry, even though you don't think you did anything wrong (the truth is, I don't think you did either). I bite my tongue, obey it to avoid harshness of tone. I ignore your apology, and offer one of my own. This isn't your fault. Or mine. It isn't the medication, or my family, or the weather we've been having. It isn't anything really, and one morning not too very far in the future I'll wake up and it will have left. My thoughts will return to their normal routine. And so will we.
And in case I never get around to telling you: Thank you. I think that's more fitting than an apology neither of us understand. You'll never see this anyway...

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PostPosted: 29 Mar 2005 02:57 
Roses die...

And so will I...Sad

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PostPosted: 30 Mar 2005 19:22 
If you want to listen to my FAVORITE DnB track ( I just got it last night, and I am sooo stoked!! It's a John B remix, remade by the Freestylers.), which I hope you do...please visit...

John B vs Freestylers Feat.Million Dan / Freestylers Feat.Million Dan :: Boom Blast
http://www.chemical-records.co.uk/sc/se ... TG010R&S=A

This is my newest favorite Break Beat track. Mcmillan & Tab :: Work It
http://www.chemical-records.co.uk/sc/se ... =IF005&S=A

PostPosted: 31 Mar 2005 12:35 

This looong weekend was amazing. I spent a lot of it at Silent Hill, the old abandoned childrens hospital just on the ridge of the Valley. If you go at night, you can see Salt Lake City at it's best... Since Salt Lake is on a Grid system, the roads all look like miniature landing strips for planes. God, was it beautiful. I saw the stars glisten and dance over the city, and the city lights were burning like fire from the side of the ridge. It was like they were competing against each other, to see who would burn out last.

We explored the abandoned hospital. I swear, you can still hear children laughing...or screaming. I think I'm afraid of the preternatural, the supernatural, and everything that hides in the dark. Why? I don't know. The dark is something that we all were once afraid of. We're afraid of the things that we can't see in the dark.

I remember going lazer tagging(ok, so it was a huge massive lazer tag center with three arenas. one arena was being played in , and the larger arena was being used to house the Nitrous Oxide tank and whoever was smoking pot and exchanging pills and stuff. We happened to be in the dark, vacant one) with Nick, and he dragged me deeper into this maze when the lights were off. We were trying to find other people. The music was booming, the bass line was driving, and all I could do was try to get away from him. I was even scared of his grip on my arm, because in my eyes, I saw a monster, not Nick. I screamed, I kicked, I yelled, and when I got away, I ran. I ran into things, plastic barriers, walls, doors. I started to bleed from my lip, but I didn't care. Then I saw it. Light.
There was a light bulb in the middle of this room. It was shining light down in a small area of the floor, like a beam....and I did the only thing I could think of. I went to it. I went to it, and I sat down. I sat down, and hugged myself around the knees, and shut my eyes. I knew that somewhere in this maze, there were creatures (it was halloween and people had costumes on, really creepy ones). I was so scared.
Then the lights turned on, and I heard people looking for me. When I looked on the walls, there were painted demons, and I screamed. I'm so scared of the dark. And everything else that's in the dark.

Anyway, we explored the abandoned hospital and found a room where there was this bed...and it was the kind of bed that you see in horror films. you know, the one with the leather straps. My brother dared me to lay on the bed and he would strap me down, and they would leave me there for ten minutes alone. I'm a freaking wuss, but I did it. I lay there, scared, motionless. I swear I could feel something tingling along my skin, not a bug, but something that had no form. I kicked. I screamed. I cried.
When he came to get me with his friends, I had rubbed my wrists and ankles raw trying to get out of the leather cuffs. I swear there was something in there with us. And I cried.

When we got out, I saw soemthing standing in the window. Something shadowy, dark, and watching us. It was sillhoutted, and I know I wasn't the only one who saw, because John was staring at it too. He tried to tell me later that it was probably just a curtain, but I swear, it was something.

We call it Silent Hill because of the game, Silent Hill. Story is, kids started to die because the respirators or machines would fail. Even after replacing them all, they still failed, and children died. They decided to abandon the hospital, and build a new one, deep in the heart of Salt Lake City.

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PostPosted: 01 Apr 2005 18:08 
In the process of creating three whole new mixes.
The first one is completed. It needs to be mastered and tracked, and I hope soon that I can have it out on the stands.

My debut album came out today. They're only being sold at Uprok and Mechanized, but still, I've gotten calls and random emails from people saying that I've done a great job. Also, Mechanized left a message on my phone and told me that they sold over 100 in the first hour! Thats a freaking record, and im surprised I got that many out so quickly. City weekly did an article about me today, and it was about my album. I'm stoked, this might be the start of a great summer.

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PostPosted: 02 Apr 2005 14:42 

I like silly pictures.

This one is named: Infatuated. I'm thinking about photoshopping it, for shitz n giggles. *sigh*

I spent my night last night with Lisa. We watched Finding Neverland, and it made me cry.

Kendra came over. She bought tickets to Lisa Lashes(tonight). Yay.

I made this in photoshop just now,
And I'm planning on using a photo in there to manipulate.

you have to quit apologizing like that
sometimes sorry just doesnt mean anything to me.
its like
walking up the stairs in the dark
and you reach the top and lift your foot up one more step, when there is none
and you stumble.
Saying Sorry is like stumbling.
you dont mean to do it, or say it
it just kind of happens.
say sorry when you deeply, honestly, truly mean it.
I dont like accepting apologies.
people misuse it all the time
so i get frustrated.

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PostPosted: 03 Apr 2005 19:40 
Lisa and Aries had sex. How did I know? Because I just do.

She then later admitted it to me, and said that they didnt have sex in a bed, or on the floor...no no, they did it in her car.

He wouldn't let her over to his house...and I forgot to mention earlier, that he was wearing a wedding band on his left hand.

Could it be that he wont let her over because he's staying with a live - in girlfriend? Or perhaps a fiancee? Or even a wife???

She lost her purse.
I think he took it.


I was out this whole weekend. I went to a friend's birthday barbecue thinger, played some records, had some good food, then headed over to the Trap Door, and watched Lisa Lashes play. Afterwards, I just went over to Aurora's house and crashed. We woke up and ate Weiner Shnitzel's and played some more records. God, the things we do when we're bored Razz

Then we talked about having a sextoy party rofl. Our friend Katie is a distributor, and she suggested it. We're actually taking it into our heads and thinking: "This might actually be fun!" Total girls night out.


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PostPosted: 06 Apr 2005 11:46 
I went to my dinner banquet at the Mariott in for the Scholarship awards.

I got admitted into Oxford University on the "Study Abroad" scholarship for one year.
I think what I'm planning on doing is finishing my year here at UofU, and then transferring over to Oxford for a year, and back home again.
If I get admitted into NYU, that would freaking rock.


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PostPosted: 06 Apr 2005 23:05 
Sometimes you may find that some things I have to say are offensive, sometimes you might die laughing because of all the corny things I have to say, sometimes you might get a little turned off by me...but whatever it may be, it's gonna be real.

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PostPosted: 08 Apr 2005 01:33 
down through the dark trees
you came to save me
you're so ugly..
and you're so beautiful.
you're like no one on earth.
like no one on earth.

all of my life
ive been waiting
for you.

i wanna be the one
that you take home.
let me be the one
because i'm so lonely.

take me home.
in time you'll love me
like one of your own.

take me home
with you...
no one on earth
knows me like you do.

I love Gabriel and Dresden remixes. They're awesome. I'm not a TRULY big fan of trance, but I love their mixes... I can't wait to see them perform live. That woulc be sooo amazing.

I plan on going to Amsterdam this summer with Nick, Patrick, and Andrea. We're planning on going to the Freestlyers "FIT AS F**K" tour. I think right now, Freestylers have got it going. Their tracks are selling great, and their productive thinking seems to never end. Yay for the Freestylers.

I'm tired. I'm sleepy. I'm sick.
I don't have much to write tonight...but I'm sure I'll blab a lot tomorrow.

Ciao, mon amours

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PostPosted: 10 Apr 2005 18:24 
First time on the computer since Friday morning. The Cambodian New Year's celebration was lots of fun. I got had a drink with my parents and their band (Lure). My mom was so drunk when I was leaving (I only had a few drinks and sobered up to drive the 90 miles home), she said "I love you" like twelve times, and kept kissing me all over my face lol. I was driving home trying to wipe the lipstick off.
I bought a new pair of pants and a shirt out of spite (i hate when I say "ok, im not going to spend any money.." and I end up doing so. GRR.
I start my new job next week. Oh Joy.
I also got a haircut. too many layers, not enough length GRR @ Salon Diva.

<3 I must go do laundry and clean the house now.
I feel like a million bucks!

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PostPosted: 14 Apr 2005 02:09 
i'm so sick. im so sick of being sick. sick of work. sick of school. sooooooooooo f- sick of everything.
yes, we all bitch, whine and complain sometimes. this is my time.
the STi is in the shop. I have no car to drive for now...YARR.
it sucks hitching rides off friends. Sad
i need a new job. my new boss @ the bird sucks. my second job @ overstock.com is getting postponed because of new management switching over. i have training starting on the 18th from 3-11. eeeep!!!!
aah..and college. i'm starting to wish i would have taken a year off...
anyway... im done. this bitching on a message board thing is done and over with.

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PostPosted: 21 Apr 2005 00:34 
The worst is just around the corner. I can feel it.
Lately, my dad has been undergoing chemo radiation treatment for his cancer. Im glad that he decided to listen to me and do it for the best.
I spent the day watching X (those of you anime freaks who know what it is, kudos). It's a really good series, and so far it's made me quite emo.
I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I failed my forensic exam by two points, so I have to wait til the end of the semester to retake the test(which by then I'll have forgotten everything) or pay an extra $300 to retake it. I don't know if I want to pay the money because I have other things to pay for (the STi, rent, food, electricity, etc). I'm trying to be a responsible adult, and because of that, I think I'm growing up a little fast. Oh well.
Summer is rolling around. The temperature in SLC was around 73 degrees, PLUS rain. It's been raining for the past three days, and I'm loving every moment of it.
Once summer is here, I have a lot to plan for. A road trip to Lava Hot Springs in Idaho, a trip to New York to see family, and of course, the possibility of going to Xencon. It depends on if I can get the week off from both jobs. I took a semester off for summer, so I could just spend it working and having fun.
Oh. My brother and his fiancee split. Sad!
I went to Greywhale today to indulge on CDs. I bought 13 for $90. Not bad. Tomorrow, i think I'll check out the new shipment at Element, the new record shop.
Which brings me to another subject.
Pat and I are going to open our own Record Shop + Bubble Tea Cafe in one. Sounds awesome, huh? THATS CAUSE IT IS!
That is all for now. <3

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PostPosted: 22 Apr 2005 17:19 
To clear shit up for you f- hot heads,
NO, John is NOT talking about me in his post about a xen chick or whatever, etc.

I haven't been out of Utah forever, and even if I was gone, I'd probably have only been out to the neighboring states (Like Nevada, Colorodo, and Arizona).

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PostPosted: 24 Apr 2005 18:51 
Brand new set, unmastered.
If you'd like it, please let me know. PM me and I'll directly transfer it to you.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 01 May 2005 23:22 
Vegas sucked so bad lol.

I forgot my phonecharger, and the whole time I was there, it kept blue screening (anyone having this problem with a Razr?) and not sending texts.
It would say...

Unknown Carrier: Your message was:
(insert text here)

I think it's just Cingular...but I don't know.
Oh well..


 Post subject:
PostPosted: 03 May 2005 18:55 
"I see you looking at me,
Like I'm some kinda freak.
Get up out of your seat.
Why dontcha do SOMETHIN?!"

I just got a call from my mom this morning letting me know that her last and one of the only blood relative she has ((minus her kids) her sister) has died yesterday night. She's making the trip from Utah to California at 5:00 PM today, and has invited me to go with her.
I can't, but I would really like to, so I could pay respects to her. She was a Single woman, but had everything in order. High paying job, dating a great guy, and bam, it hits. She died from a head on collision (not her fault). She was making a left coming home from the office and someone ran a red light and wrecked into her car.

Sad I love you, Ming Thary.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 05 May 2005 10:46 
Late for my first hour of class...so why not indulge?
alright, okay...so maybe I dont have time to indulge but I'll let you all know whats going on.

I gave Kat my newest mix, but I haven't heard a critique frmo her yet. I'm almost disappointed. haha.
Remember Kat, at around 42:01 is where "The Perfect Sunrise" starts, and I threw that one in for you. And right after that, is "Mean Streets" which I thought you'd like it too.
Those two were probably one of the 4 cleanest mixed into each other. I was very drunk when I was mixing that set, and I'll have you know I'm proud of my accomplishment! ha ha.
It's raining like there is no tomorrow. I found that my STi is fun to drive with rear wheel. Also, note that the STi is the only car in the world that you can shift torque from either rear, to front, or even all wheel drive...while the car is in motion.
I also learned that the STi has the same components as the actual Rally car in Europe. The only difference is, the STi's in America are a 2.5 litre whilest the ones in Europe are only 2.0
Anywho, I better go.

Au Revoir.
p.s. Kat, I miss you darling. Smile

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PostPosted: 06 May 2005 11:50 
I took a picture of Stirling in the developing room. I thought the redlight would add to the picture, and it really did. I wish I could have redeveloped this though, it would look sooo much better.

Lately, I've been photoshopping alot. I haven't been able to sleep very well...I wake up around 4:50 in the morning to get a glass of soymilk or water. It's happened three nights in a row.
Let me share with you what I made.

How freaking cool is that? lol. I would be nothing if I didn't visit www.good-tutorials.com
I think it's not yet finished though...I want to add more to it, perhaps lyrics or a poem or something.
Yes. That would be nice.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 09 May 2005 23:20 

I've been suffering lately. Perhaps there are people who just need to be cut from my life(especially those who try to hog attention from me whilest I sit down for a few minutes to regain some damn posture).
I'm sick of snide and sexual comments and remarks. Sure, women recieve them a lot, but this is ridiculous. I'm sick of always having to plan and "pencil" someone into my schedule. And if, by chance, they get "blown off" or "flaked," they all of a sudden make it seem like I just let the entire world fall down on their face. I have two jobs, a career in progress, I'm attending a University and I also have a side job as a DJ. I don't have time for to be online all day, like I once used to. If I DO have time, it's spent with Nick and Pat (who are both in the DJ business), either buying records on the weekend, or doing sushi with Jacki (whom I don't even get to see because of past weekends being awful and hectic). I've got bills to pay. I've got to feed myself, and I definitely need to keep up with my car payments so I don't lose my Sooby.
Most people notice my "Away" tag and still send me messages, thinking that I'm there or some sh!t other than that.
Well, let me tell you something. If I didn't want to talk, I wouldn't even BE on messenger, or I would dance my dainty little finger over to the BLOCK button and just not have to deal with anyones SH!T.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 10 May 2005 12:00 
I opened my journal (written one) a few months ago and read a few entries. With those entries, I designed THIS.
For a few months, it was my background. I entitled it "Confusion." The words and charts are actually from a house development plan that I found in my dad's office a week before creating it. I scanned them and blurred them, and I photoshopped them. I love photoshopping. It lets me express how I feel.

Like these...
I created Frozen in Time because I felt like I was at a standstill in my life. I wanted to capture desperate eyes and sadness in this picture. I did a lot of color tinting. Only used a couple tech brushes on the face, everything else is just cut/transformed shapes and lines.
This next one was drawn and sketched on my actual sketchpad, and I transferred it onto my brother's MAC with the scanner. I used his pad and digipen to draw and edit more, and then transfered the half complete project back to my computer where I worked with Windows XP and Adobe Photoshop 7.0 to complete "Wish Upon a Star." The font at the bottom is the same font used for Pokeysock's old signature...it's named "Broken boulevard." This picture was inspired by Tim Burton, after watching a few of his movies and staring at a few of his psycho insane pictures like this one:
So here it is, Wish Upon a Star.
Last night, after that awful rant, I couldnt sleep because I was so angry and was venting. So I stayed up and created something that I thought would help express me. I need...and I want to find balance.
So I created this. Something simple. Something unique. Something that wasnt Confusing.

I know that because I haven't watermarked these and have placed them online, they will be traced to and people will definitely steal them and use them as their own content. To those who steal them, I just want to say "Fuc|< you for trying to be someone you arent." I hope someone asks you to reproduce something and you end up fukking it up so it looks like sh!t.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 May 2005 18:16 
I'm in a really bad mood. This weekend was spent driving from SLC to Logan and then back again...about three times lol.
When we got there the first time, I left my car doors unlocked because we were going inside a friend's house for just a sec. We were just stopping in, and when we came out, my CD's were jacked lol.

The reason why im in a bad mood is not becuase of that. I mean, really, I can just burn them all over again. But the problem is, I've been driving two whole days without music. OH MY GOD.

So today, I think I'll be spending my time burning CDs, downloading mp3s, and hanging out on msn.

Au Revoir!

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 17 May 2005 17:04 
"There comes a time in your life when you realize that if you stand still, you will remain at this point forever. You come to an understanding that if you fall and never get back up, life will only pass you by. Lifes' circumstances and obstacles are not always what you would have imagined them to be...the pattern of life doesn't necessarily go as you plan. You may at times be led in different directions that you never dreamed, imagined, or designed. Yet, if you have never put any effort into choosing a path or tried to carry out your dreams; then perhaps you would have no direction at all.
Prevent yourself from questioning the direction your life has taken and learn to accept the fact that there is an endless path ahead of you. Discontinue the "why's" and "what if's" and rid yourself of confusion. Whatever was in the past, whatever happened--happened. The past is a brief reflection.
The future is yet to be realized. Today is here. Walk your path one step at a time-- with courage, faith, determination, dedication, and discipline. Allow yourself to keep your head up, cast your dreams, keep your belief in yourself, and leave each day as it comes. When in doubt, ask your heart for truth and seek the good judgements to assist you in decisions that you'll need to make.
Love everyone, and don't question love's reception. Just as you are pondering for questions now, somewhere inside of you, down the road, there will be better answers and workable solutions.
It takes patience, trust, and strength to get through life's changes when you're trying to reach goals, solve problems, and make dreams come true. Though at times, it may seem that giving up on life is an option you're willing to pursue-- be strong and you are destined to get through it. allow yourself to experience the unthinkable, believe in the impossible, and allow nothing to stand in your way.

Congratulations to the class of 2005,
I'm very proud of you, Nessa.

All my love,
Sarah Cadence
May 17th, 2005 "

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 31 May 2005 04:09 
I decided to write a story about my friend Chase and his girlfriend, who i've been speaking to (Chase) a lot recently. Every night, he's called me and told me this story. I wrote it down on a pad of paper, and i would just like to share it.

So here it is, coming from Chase's point of view

So I couldn't sleep the other night, my mind just wouldn't stop racing and I kept feeling like I needed to go somewhere. I decided to head over to the girlfriends house and stay the night there, see if I could calm down a little and get some rest before I worked the next day.

When I got to her house I noticed her friend Chad must be there because his truck was in the driveway. But it struck me odd that her house was pitch black. As I walked up the steps to her door I peered thru her blinds, looking for the light of the TV or something, but it was obvious the TV wasn't on.

I got a little nervous. I knocked on the door. I instantly heard something. I swear it was like a swift movement, like the sound your clothes make when you get off the couch real fast because your hot pocket is done... anyway, there was no answer for some time. At least 30 seconds pass. Then the light flicks on and the door opens and I can see how surprised she is to see me. They were both at the door, for some reason. Chad was wincing at the light; it had been dark for some time. Shes in her short nightgown. I know she has no clothes on underneath.

The gears in my head kick into overdrive. Isn't she talking a little too fast? Why does he seem so quiet? She knows he likes her (he even confessed to masturbating to thoughts of her), how can she feel comfortable wearing a short gown with no panties on knowing that? Was that bottle of lotion always on the coffee table?

I invited myself in and explained to her that my mind wouldn't stop racing. I grabbed a beer from the fridge. I ignore him the whole time. He knows what im thinking... what excuse does he have prepared for me, I wonder. But I never ask the question. It seems impossibly hard to form the words "What the f- were you guys doing?".

He leaves. I take her clothes off. Her heart is beating way too fast. I kiss her.

And its like I can taste the lie on her lips.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 01 Jun 2005 01:33 
Was hanging out with Ben today, and I took a cute picture of him and his doggie.

I think that I might want to take up some photography work soon. I like it a lot, and it just might bring in some money lol.

I have a bruise on my ego. Someone today told me I was "beautiful" while I was in my sweat pants and a white ribbed tank top, with my hair up all messy in a bun without a smudge of makeup on. You see, I ran to wal-mart to grab some nail polish since I had run out. And some random guy tells me "Hey, you look beautiful." Now I'm thinkin, "damn i should wear this ALL the time" hahaha.

Anyway, for those of you who like to read what i write, i sat down today at the coffee shop and wrote in my handwritten journal. i thought maybe you'd like to read it...

If you have to ask why I write,
You're going to have to ask why I live.

....and maybe some day, my dear, our dreams will take us places that we can't even draw in our heads. But...my hand is too sh aky, and the meaning is now unclear. With practice comes clarity, and the sharp lines of pencil turn to ink, i cannot erase them...we will walk a thousand fields and winding paths before we trip over our own feet and realize it is the rocks below us that hold us up, not a distant mountain.
We still hope for views from purple skyscapers. The beauty of things we cannot touch...and the places we will never see are the only things that fill our heads. Keep us drifting farther away from all that holds our feet in place.

Take my hand and we will color in the skyline. I will trace the outlines of the fading sunlight. You always drew better stars than I did, so I leave the night to you. If you'll just draw one constellation with me in mind, i will wish every night and know that that star burns red because of you. And maybe I'm in a rush, but only a few hours can pass before I reach for yellow and pink to color in the sunrise. It's hard to believe another day can start again and you haven't disappeared. In case you were wondering, the grey and mist of earlier days will never creep in on our skyline. I will draw the sun faithfully each morning, and you will let the stars burn at night. Now it seems the rest of the world is depending on us to continue the days....

but your stars fill my nights.

Sarah Cadence,
May 31, 2005

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 01 Jun 2005 15:55 
Comments are welcome = D

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 03 Jun 2005 16:38 
Solid UNDA Ground & Aural Fixations


..:SAND TUNEZ Vol. 2:..
..an epic journey deep into the starry desert night...

: DJ Line Up :

Hard Trance/Hard House

Hard Trance/ Hardstyle/ Progressive House

Jordan 10-E-

Hard House/NRG

Spectre -
Trance/Epic Trance

Nick Bliss vs. Cade Vicious (2x4)
Nu Skool/UK Breaks

Sighanyde -

Hobbes -
Uk Breaks/Funky Breakz

Presto -
Trance/Hard Trance


Cade Vicious -
Closing the Night with a Perfect Sunrise, Finale Dj
Uk Breaks/Drum n Bass

MASSIVE Sound System
Intelligent Lighting
Sick Outdoor Location
Camping / Tent Village
Water & Rockstar vendor
return of the 50ft. SNOWMAN
FREE Entrance! ($10 MAPS!)
Please Car Pool / Limited Parking


What a great way to kick off the Summer. I'm all packed and ready to go. The time slot that Nick and I snagged is at Midnight-1:00 am.
I get to close the rave. woot woot = )

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 06 Jun 2005 15:05 
....f- Sand Tunez.

The Emo/Raver Revoloution started. First off, Steve made the mistake of hiring BEAR, a Evol Entertainment production ass istant to do the searching. His search was ridiculous , which even involved me flipping out my bra and JUMPING up and down, to see if I had anything on me (which I didn't). He then overcharged the DJ's, and confiscated numerous stupid things, like pocket knives and a hatchet. I yelled at him and said "You stupid dumb f-, we're in a desert with sage and bushes and trees everywhere. We need that shit to set up our camp" And he was hesitant to give our shit back. Then I told him to give it back or I'd take over the searching for him. He complied, and we were on our way to the rave.

Well, the f- girlpant wearing bitches from highschool all were there to drop E and just be little bitches. I hate them all...grrr. They actually came up to the DJ booth while we were playing and asked "Are you a DJ?" What the hell? "Can you play some DJ Irene? OR Darude?" And Scotty says "Sorry man, we aren't THOSE kind of dj's." and then our friend Leon goes "PLAY SOME IN DA CLUB!!!" and we all started to laugh about it.

Presto didn't follow the listing and time slots, so we played early and because of the police scare, we couldn't even turn up our music.

It started to rain, and I found my friend Dakota sprawled out on a hill, shivering from the cold and throwing up from too much E. I ended up spending the entire night cuddling up with him to keep him warm (since all I had brought was a blanket and a hoodie) and babying him to throw up.


 Post subject:
PostPosted: 13 Jun 2005 18:32 
Pretty soon I'll have 800 views... BWAHAHAHAHAHA.....!!

Just keeding.

Well. My computer's power supply blew. Ah..ha. I'll be on an eMac for a while.

= ( I haven't frequented the boards in a long time. I've been rather busy.

I haven't been on the game, either.

sad sad.

now everyone have a good day. ^_^

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 14 Jun 2005 15:45 
I once used to like Sauce. He seemed to be very intelligent, very well poised for whatever shit was thrown at him in the message boards, and very mature.

At this point in time, I would like to take all that shit back. Iys not that I don't like Sauce, it's just that I don't like his personality... It seems that although he does have all those great qualities, he just can't take a f- joke or two.


People have asked me to post a more detailed so and so about myself. here it is.

My name is Sarah. Everyone calls me Cadence or just simply put...Cade. I'm around 5 feet, four measly inches, and who knows what I weigh. I have black hair currently, and my eyes haven't changed colors...yet (they're known for being hybrid).

I like to have a good time and I love music, so if you are a band or you know of any cool music out there let me know. I'm always looking for new noise to listen to. I'd rather sit and listen to people trainwreck on the 1's and 2's than sit and listen to endless, idle banter. Shut the f- up and play me a beat...

I'm pretty straight forward and I'm a wild one. I'm very spontaneous, and sometimes a bit too aggressive. I enjoy life and being silly. Laughing is the best medicine. If you have no sense of humor, then we won't get along... If you don't like people who are sarcastic, you won't like me. I'm not a bitch, I think that's a word people use to describe someone who wont or cant take their/my shit..

I'm an artist, i love to draw pictures with pens and pencils, and rarely do i ever color them in. i love to take pictures of people/things. i love to associate music with my life. if my life had a soundtrack, it would seriously be like 15 cd's long lol.

as much as i hate to admit it, i'm scared of change. right now, i'm very content with my life. i would hate for that to all just fall apart or drift away.
i'm a lover. i'm a fighter. i'm one of the most rarest breed of girls out there. and i'm damn proud of it.

like i said before, straight forward is how i like to be. don't like it? find a new friend.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 14 Jun 2005 20:02 
    I decided to make a list, here it is.

    - Art is my life...don't interrupt me or I will kill you.
    - Sarcasm is my weapon, I use it against all villains.
    - I am a klutz as I walk into walls...check out my shins.
    - Dancing supplies my serotonin even if I am in hotpants.
    - I assemble words to break your spirit...watch me.
    - I think music explains what words can't do alone.
    - Rock rocks.
    - I love to write
    - Catty women turn me off (except Kat, that is)...what is the point?
    - I think broken promises and outright dishonesty are one in the same.
    - I think physical beauty is fleeting.
    - I laugh at stereotypes.
    - I constantly speak my mind.
    - I love fruits and juices.
    - I believe in chivalry.
    - I find myself to be passive aggressive at times.
    - I try to live for the present and hope for the future.
    - I wear my heart on my sleeve.
    - My intelligence seems to surprise many.
    - I love my family.
    - I value my friends.
    - I find stray pieces of my heart laying around.
    - I worry about society.
    - I forget that I exist sometimes.
    - I always choose things black and white as they turn into grey.
    - I love PHO!
    - I believe in karma, but I do not behave according to this...it makes my actions deceitful, no?

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 14 Jun 2005 20:14 
Okay...now to really get the ball rolling.

I haven't slept so well since Sunday night. I actually stayed up all night, watching the whole Harry Potter series and just doing nothing. I went for a drive around 4:30 am and came home around 7:00 am, after driving through Big and Little Cotton Wood canyon. I keep giving myself grief for missing my flight to Wales. It's not my fault that the koisk desks were all "out of service" and that the line to check in was a 2 hour wait.
But they said they would reschedule my flight if I wanted, or I could have a full money back refund. I still haven't decided what I want yet. It would be nice to get out of the country, but i don't think I have any more time off. I have this whole week off, and I think I'm just going to not tell my work that I was not in England, after all.
I was supposed to go to Wales to find some more UK records. I usually go once every few months and pool a lot of money, and pick up tracks for other people. Afterall, there is no shipping charges. I just carry the records onto the plane and put the rest of my luggage in the cargo area. This month, I have over $300 to spend on Records alone. Shame it is that it's all just sitting in my dresser drawer.
My computer is haywire. I think I need to put together a new one (but that involves me hiring someone to do it, because I'm not very technologically advanced). I'm not so much of a hardware geek, but I know that I want a computer that runs really f- fast and really smooth.
I have no soundcard installed and I'm listening to traffic two streets over. I can also hear my room mate screaming at her new beau lol. " I DONT WANT TO COOK TONIGHT!" What a hoot.
So woe is me, I'm sitting here, beer in hand, thinking to myself... "what the hell am I going to do for a week?"

opinions, suggestions, anyone? PM ME!!

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 15 Jun 2005 14:26 
O0o. I'm so f- sad. Negative attitude. Boo hoo.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: 26 Jun 2005 20:12 
my life is over as we know it.

as most of you know, i reformatted my computer and now am running on an AMD Athlon and I love it.

the problem though is....

i can't find my adobe photoshop disk!!!


if anyone has a copy that they want to pirate out to me (i wont register it online) please let me know Sad

thanks a bunch..

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